Friday, August 4, 2017

Sancho

   Sancho tells how, while he slept, a thief put stakes under the four corners of  the pack saddle and stole his ass out from under him.     This 20x16" oil painting, I did,
 is based on a drawing by Gustave  Dore', for the book about Don Quixote.  Sancho was his sidekick.
     In an earlier post, I thought it was hilarious that while Hillary rode the democratic donkey, Donald stole her ass out from under her.  Wouldn't it be sweet justice if Barack, Hillary, Harry, Nancy, Chuck and Al woke up in the morning and their asses had been stolen out from under them?

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Cotton Scales

I have been looking for some cotton scales for a while.  I finally found these last week at the antique place on Cottonwood road.  Laney's was the name, I believe.  I hung them up on the side of the tack room in the barn.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Then there were four

No political commentary on this one.  Just 16x20" oil on canvas.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Hanging Out With the Coon Brothers

Jack, Jill and I were on the creek bank, trying to catch fish.  We all knew who were coming by the sound the raucous trio were making.  This was not our first time these three.  We knew and liked them, but sometimes they were a bit too much to handle.  That was the case this time.  We could tell as soon as they hit the light of the lantern that they had been partaking of the mushroom stump water.  The effect was deeper on Barrack than Harry or Chuck.  They were bad enough, but Barrack had been especially deep into the stump.  We had all been in this spot before and knew that it would soon be contentious.
     First they would flatter us by telling us how great citizens we were by trying to feed ourselves.  Then if we were successful in fishing we should give them sixty percent for "administrative" costs, then give 30 percent to the ones who did not have an opportunity to fish for themselves.  If we were not too greedy  we should keep the other ten percent for ourselves.  They failed to mention that there were miles of creek bank to fish in, but they did not want to quit partying to take advantage of the opportunity.  Being good citizens, we just smiled and continued to fish.
     The mushroom water was working on Barrack pretty good and he decided to push it a bit farther.  Echoing his cousin, Maxine, he shouted  "Impeach 4 5". 
     "Why would you want to do that?" I asked.
     "He's' crazy, he's stupid, he's un-American, He did not get the majority vote."
     "Do you know anything about the constitution?"
     "Well yes, I am a constitutional lawyer."
     "I'm just a dumb sign painter, but I do have a copy in my pocket, let's see what it says."
     "You are a dumb ass."  he replied.
     Knowing that  arguing was useless and being pissed that he called me a dumbass, I pulled the copy out of my wallet.  Picking up a big limb, I wrapped my copy around it and proceeded to beat the crap out of the three.  At the best of times a coon is hard to handle, but these three were under the influence of stump water and limber as hell.  However I was full of anger and cracked the stick up against their skulls, knocking them out.  I grabbed up Barrack and hung him in the tree by his hind feet.  Most coons, when they stay in power too long, have a condition known as brain drop.  The brain begins to drop into their digestive tract and the crap obstructs their thinking process.  I thought with him upside down, I would give him a few whacks on the butt to jar his brain back to where it belongs.  However by the hollow sound, I could tell that it was too late.  He had excreted his brain long ago.  Knowing that, I also knew that Harry and Chuck had already unloaded theirs also.
     If the average person walks the halls of congress, they are amazed at the dodo brains lying in the hallways.  Some are red, but the majority are a sickening blue.  The stench and sight of these piles are disgusting, however the mainstream media walks through and in them everyday and are oblivious to the effects.  It is contagious just to be near that crap, for if you touch it, it will corrupt you also.  The effect is that your brain will move to your ass and if you don't get help soon, you will excrete your brain as well.
     So if you are going to beat the crap out of coons with a stick, make sure that you don't get any crap on your person.
     

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The highlights of my life

17x54 inch oil on wood.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Next year
this year
will be
last year.

Monday, June 19, 2017

For almost a year I just lay around, sleeping most of the day and raising hell at night.  I was completely useless and wouldn't even try to help myself. All the while crying for someone to bring me a bottle and crapping in my drawers.  Never was a mother so glad to see a son begin to walk and learn to use the potty.