Gloom, Despair, and Rejoicing

Laying in bed a few nights ago, the cares of this world began to crowd in very tightly on me. We had taken on the daunting task of reworking our home. As you know, one thing leads to another. Paint the garage, the foyer looks bad, paint the foyer, the kitchen looks bad, so on and on. Doing the work at night and on weekends gets old in a hurry, but you can't get off the ride until it stops. When the paint looks good, then the carpet and cabinets look as if they need to be replaced. Well hell, why not put hardwood in the dining room? Ok, we adjusted to that, we'll just put it in all the downstairs. Why, we can't leave off the kitchen cabinets. Thank goodness I can do the back splashes for the stove and sink.


If you have ever been self employed, you know that some months are not going to be as good as other ones. That's what happened to us. We are spending money and the work stops. Even though it is budgeted, you are plagued by the thought that maybe you should hold on to this money at this time. You would think that I would be used to this cycle by now, but I am not. I know from past experience that it will pick up again and soon. For the last fifteen years we have been having serious problems with our children. We have 2 granddaughters that live only a couple of miles away from here, and we haven't seen them for 18 months; not our choice, because we dearly love them and it keeps us up at night. Then my neighbor after 22 years and a survey that she did 5 years ago, now says that the line is on her 50'. So now you know the mindset that I was in when I turned in for the night.


This night was different, the weight of the world was crashing in on me, and blacker than night despair was making itself known, each breath was hard to come by and my heart was pounding. Tossing back and forth, to and fro, up and down I could not get any relief. My legs hurt, my back was sore, I could not get any relief. I know that God through His Son will take care of everything, but I am only a man, and need to be reminded of this fact every once in a while. When I called on His name, everything suddenly became clear. I was held in place by His loving arms, as the ground was jerked out from under me. I could not have fallen if I wanted to. I could see the earth below me, with people floating around at every imaginable height, going in and out of the clouds effortlessly and contented. It was not the black night that I had just experienced, but just twilight enough to see everything clearly. I heard a strong voice inside my head, "If I can hold you up over all of this, without touching you, then you can rest assured that I will take care of you and the cares of this world will not reach you. I am sufficient for all your needs, and will meet all of your physical, spiritual, and emotional needs."
That allowed me to have the best night's sleep that I have had in a long while.He reminded me and wanted me to tell ya'll that whatever it is in your life that is trying to take over, that He is in control and will keep us until the end.
Since this blog goes directly to facebook, some of my friends will remember me in high school as a drinker and all around unsavory character. So, why should you believe or listen to me? Good question. Saul persecuted and killed Christians before he saw the Light on the Damascus road and changed his name to Paul. Look at what God did through him. I have not killed anyone, but I have done some stuff. If Jesus looked at me from the cross 2000 years ago, and said I am doing this for you and everyone else that will listen and believe, just imagine what He can and will do for you.

Broken Heart and Backache

About 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, Sheila and I began painting the interior of the house. It all started 2 years ago when we painted the garage. I have dealt with paint all of my adult life and I knew better when I asked the clerk how much paint I would need. As I was walking out the door with 7 gallons of paint I knew I had just had a senior moment. We used 3 gallons. Sheila, being the tight ass that she was called by Gary Kirkland, our banker. was not about to waste that extra 4 gallons. So she started painting the utility room, the laundry room, the entrance from the garage, her closet, and under the stairs. When she finally used up that paint, the rest of the house really needed painting. That's where I came in to the picture. All the trim work had to be painted in the kitchen and bathrooms. Since they had wallpaper we did not paint in there.
We would work during the day and paint at night. Originally the color throughout the house was seashell, which is a very pale pink. You really have to be secure in your masculinity to live in a pink house. We really went dark with earth tones in each room, with three colors in the hall. All the furniture in each room had to be moved and then put back in place. During Christmas and new years we closed the shop and painted day and night for those two weeks. Last Thursday we were finished except for the trim in our bedroom. Two hours and we were going to be finished. Just move the furniture back in and relax.
When I came in from work I did not find Sheila downstairs, so I hollered for her. I'm upstairs she replied, but you're not going to like what I'm doing. My heart dropped, I had been picking up signals for several weeks, and had seen the far away look in her eyes. What am I to do? I did not see any vehicle when I came home. Do I go upstairs, or do I leave? I decide that I am going to be a man and go see what she is doing. By the time I get to the bottom of the stairs, I am feeling very oppressed. It is hard to put one foot in front of the other. Halfway up I can hardly carry the weight on my shoulders. At the top my feet are so heavy I can barely lift them, my heart is pounding like jackhammer. As I walk around the furniture, the silence is overwhelming, the bedroom is empty except for the ladder standing in the middle of the room. Oh no.......there she is in the dressing room. I don't know whether to be mad or fall on my face and cry like a little girl. What am I to do? She is knee deep in wallpaper and I am so tired. Sheila, I thought that we were going to rest up before doing this. Well, she replied, I had a few hours to kill and wanted to see how hard it was going to be, to strip this paper off. Today is Tuesday and we still have 3 to 4 hours in that room and the hall bathroom and the half bath downstairs to do. By the time this job is over I will be an old man.