Walk on by

Just playing around with an ink pen, relaxing after a hard day.

Joshua's Revenge

   In my previous post, I made fun of God telling Joshua that he was old.  Evidently Joshua heard about it and was not that amused.  Last week I climbed onto my backhoe, heard a rifle shot and my leg buckled under me.  Well Jason finally got the nerve to shoot me.  However it was a torn tendon in the back of my knee.  What a relief. 
     The vision in my left eye was messing up and the doctor told me that I had a wrinkle on the inside of my eyeball. How Joshua must have laughed, and I don't blame him.  You know you are getting old when you get wrinkles on the inside of your eyeball.  I also had high pressure in the left eye due to a stopped up drain hole.  Monday I went back to see what to do about that.  Before I left for my appointment, after a visit to the toilet I threw my back out after trying to pull up my pants.  Nothing like back pain to make you forget about a torn tendon in your knee.  Pain makes you feel alive, so until I pass on I guess that I will be full of life.
     After the exam, the doc told me, "We are going to take you back and do surgery on your right eye."   "Doc it was my left eye," and pointed to my left eye.  "Your right eye is 98% blocked and if it stops up completely, you will be blind in a matter of hours.  You will come back Friday to do the left eye."  So Joshua, I still think it is hilarious what God told you, but I have a little more respect for you now.
    

Hold Your Arms Out

     For eight years, Sheila and I have been in a terrible place.  A cold, dark and lonely place that I would not wish on anyone, even the one that put us here.  I hesitate to call it hell, because while we were here we have grown closer to God.  In this place there is no comfort from family or friends for we have neither.  The only ones that understand or care are me, Sheila and God.  Sheila is in the same predicament as I and has no more an idea for a solution than I do.  We just wallow in self pity and blame the same person.  However we have both had conversations with God that have helped us through.
     I have made contact with the culprit several times and his kindest remark was, "Quit feeling sorry for yourself, get over it and move on with your life.  This has been the happiest two and a half years of my life."  Several years ago my response would have been a swift and immediate physical reaction that he would not have liked.  However he had a power over me that I could not fight.  Regardless of what happened, he would be the hero and I, the villain.  He knew it and so did I.
     Sheila has had a hard time dealing with this also.  This was not the only thing happening to us.  The sheriff's department had strip searched my sixteen year old daughter at a private residence.  Sheila is like a mother bear when her cubs are threatened.  It took years but, we finally prevailed in court.  Note to everyone, don't get caught up in law enforcement's web.  While this was going on the state of Alabama was trying to force us into installing a turn lane onto Hwy 84.  The cost of this would have been close to a hundred thousand dollars.  While this was going on a full scale war was going on against us, but we couldn't see it for the other wars we were waging.
     The attack came on subtly at first and we did not perceive any problem.  As time went by the attack became more apparent, especially to Sheila, who was bearing the full onslaught.  It was coming from a source that no one would believe, not even me.  When Sheila told me what was happening, I was in denial.  I was sure something else was going on, but I was wrong.  It continued to get worse and I was forced to see it.  And see it I did.  I had heard of this happening only once in my life.  The couple that this happened to was a Godly couple, that taught Sunday School in our church.  It did end for them, after thirty seven years, before they died.  But the time that was lost to them was just that, lost.
     Unless you go through it or walk in my shoes as the saying goes you have no idea of the damage that is done to you, physically, mentally or spiritually.  Years of laying awake at night wondering what went wrong, what I could have done to prevent it and why the hell did I not just whip his ass to start with.
     Sheila is a strong woman, but this is almost more than she can handle.  She had her Dakota to help her cope, but she was called home early.  I almost lost Sheila at that point, however God stepped in and showed Sheila that Dakota was with Him and they would be reunited.  She and I have had visions of heavenly things, that have helped us to cope.  She told me the story of God telling Joshua "Joshua, you are getting old."  At once that was hilarious to me.  I have laughed out loud several times as I think of this.  When God tells you that you are old, then you are old.  I hope that Joshua has a sense of humor.
     She told me of standing on a steep cliff watching angels rescuing people from the edges.  Frightened she did not know what to do.  An angel approaching, yelled to her, "Hold your arms out."  She held her arms out in front and he yelled at her more frantically, "Hold them out wide!"  She did and he grabbed her up in his hands to keep her in her way, lest she dashed her foot against a stone.
     I, Sheila and the other two have paid a high price for your eight years of happiness.  It was not worth it and I am sorry you can't see that.