HELL AND BACK AGAIN

     There's that stupid alarm clock again.  It's almost daylight and all I have done is toss and turn all night.  Dozing, between turns, I would dream of the coolness of the past.  There you could walk down tree lined paths in the shade, during the middle of the day, and enjoy the cool breeze hitting you in the face.  Because it was a dream, it was not strong enough to hold.  The oppressive heat is stronger and wakes you up.  The night is always aglow with a soft orange light.  The light along with the heat is terrible.  I long for the days before the world was knocked off its tilt, by the two volcanoes erupting at the same time.
     Then you could get cool even in the summer.  Cities were bustling, busy with people walking to and fro.  Some even had bicycles and rode in the streets, where automobiles once ruled.  It was hard for us to kick the oil addiction, but as with any addiction, you feel so much better when it is over.  It was a hard sell to convince the world community that fossil fuels were destroying the world.  When public opinion got behind the movement, people slowly began to walk wherever they went.  More and more people joined in and after a few years, cars were very seldom used.  The benefits were immediate.  Obesity was over, diabetes, cancer and heart disease were almost unheard of.
     With the population feeling better and the oxygen levels going up, people began to be nicer and crime was down.  Now there was no need for drugs to help you cope with life's problems.  Life had slowed to a pace that people could keep up with.  I can barely remember those days as I was just a small child.  Our parents would sit all of us down in the afternoons and tell us of water filled pools.  I can not imagine that much water in one place.  They would tell us of the way things were before the eruptions.  I guess that is why I have such vivid dreams at night.
     No one wants to wake and face the day.  We don't walk around during the day anymore.  It is so hot that bums have a new way to light their cigarettes.  All they do is hold them up to the sky and the tip bursts into flames.  The only way to do it, since all the matches caught fire long ago.  As I go outside, I begin to hear the sounds of the day, people stirring, footsteps clicking on the hot sidewalk, the frustrated greetings of the neighbors.  "How's the weather out there today, Bob?" asks Joe, the clerk at the newsstand.  "Hot as hell, Joe", I replied.  Looking at me with a disgusted expression on his face, he answered.  "If hell is this hot, I don't want to go."
    As I walked down the street, trying to stay on the shady side, I could see that the heat had already stirred up anger and resentment.  It was if you were locked up in a small room with no air and the walls painted a bright red.  Two men were fighting in the street.  How can they do that?  Any movement and exertion only made the heat worse.  One of them pulled a knife and threw it at his opponent.  "You asshole!" he screamed as he sidestepped the knife.  As he stepped, he pulled a small .380 automatic from his pocket and fired, killing his foe instantly.  We were all so accustomed to this violence that we did not even flinch.  The street cleaners would be along soon enough and clean up the mess.  The guy with the gun just faded away into the crowd.  If anyone knew him, they would never tell the police.  The cops did not care anyway.  All they cared about was finding a cool spot.  If they had to investigate every killing, they would be in the heat all day.
     Damn, when I got to my office, I could see right away, there would be no air conditioning today.  Mary was sitting at her desk with fire in her eyes, makeup and mascara streaming down her face.  The legal pad that she was using as a fan just made it bearable.  The air that she moved with it was hot and almost unbearable, however stopping would allow the heat to stifle you.  As I slowly trudged up the stairs, all I could think of was getting back to my restless sleep and perhaps dreaming of the coolness again.  When are they ever going to fix the stinking elevator?  All it is used for now is a urinal, since it is closer than the toilet and takes less energy to get to.  The stench is unbearable at this early hour and will only get worse as the day goes along, since there is no way to get fresh air into the building.  The smell of urine and unwashed bodies makes me wonder why we come to work at all.  After all, we don't do anything and we don't get paid.  Even as I ask myself this question, I already know the answer.  We have to have some semblance of order in our lives.  If we stay home and do nothing, we will not be able to remain sane.  At least this way, we feel as if we are doing something.
     What is that noise?  I look up with apprehension and see George, half running and half falling down the stairs.  I start to speak to him, but from the looks of him, I know better.  The heat has finally gotten to him.  His eyes are all crazy and blood red, foaming at the mouth and beating himself on the chest.  I move to the wall and am quiet as I can be.  I do not want to draw attention to myself, as that could be fatal.  As he stumbles by, I can tell that he probably won't make it to the lobby.  Yep, sure enough he falls dead at the bottom of the landing.  God, I hope that the cleaners feel like doing their job today and move him before the stench gets to bad. As I sit down at my desk, on my broken chair, my, spirits are at an all time low.  My chair is broken because I try to break the window with it every so often.  All to no avail.  Knowing that no one will come in all day and the phone will not ring, ever again, I sit with my head in my hands.
     I can feel the cool breeze in the air.  So refreshing.  Is that rain?  When was the last time that happened?  All my cares melt away as I enjoy the ice cream, that I am holding.  All the workers come by the door, the clatter and chatter is lively and upbeat.  I haven't heard pleasant conversation in years.  Everyone has a cool drink in their hands.  Some even have ice cream cones.  Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, what a glorious sight.  Laughing, joking,  How are you today Bob?,  Good to see you George.  He looked as if he had never fallen down the stairs.  The air conditioner was working, people were going up and down on the elevator, phones were ringing off the hook.  I am so glad that life is back to normal.  I am not even missing my hot apartment and dread leaving work.
     As the day ends and I head back home, the street is cool, with shades on both sides, people are laughing and talking, involved in conversation with neighbors and friends.  As I pass Joe at the newsstand, he throws up his hand and asks "Hows the weather today Bob?"  "Just wonderful" I replied.  He smiled and greeted George as he came down the street.  Tonight I am going to get a glorious night's
sleep, just like a log, not even turning over.  what a wonderful life.
     I am awakened  from my nap, by the rapid fire shots of the .380 automatic.  The man from the fight had found his way into our building.  My heart is beating out of my chest, my mind still in a fog from the nap, I had just taken.  What can I do?  It is to hot to hide under the desk, and there is nowhere else to hide.  There he is!!  Standing at the door pointing that little gun at me.  With no expression on his face, no life in his eyes and a hot soul, my heart stopped as he squeezed the trigger.  I sat there dumbfounded as the firing pin made a metallic snap as it hit an empty chamber.  I started to laugh hysterically with relief.  That shocked him back to reality.  When he realized what he was doing, he threw the gun to the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he sobbed.  "Don't worry" I replied as I slowly got up from the brown spot and walked over to where the gun lay.  As I reached to pick it up, anger consumed me.  Burning up, I flung it against the window with all my might.  The window exploded with a shower of glass and the wind came rushing in, refreshing me and causing the anger to subside.  The wind was cool to my face.  As I looked out the orange glow was gone, the stars were back in place.  The noise from down in the street was different.  What was going on?  Could it be that Mars has shifted back into it's normal tilt?

Eternal Bond

    From the beginning, it was a love-hate relationship.  I knew that things would be hard between us.  From as far back as I could remember, even to my young childhood, he was there.  Always acting superior, acting as if he were ashamed of me.  Always knowing what I was going to say and what I was going to do, even before I did.  He always let it be known that I was a burden to him that he had to carry around and look after.  Always trying to get away from me, always looking up.  He  always told me "look up for your redemption draweth nigh."    
     Being the person that I was, I tried to ignore him and do things my way.  He was always there, pointing out my shortcomings, encouraging me to do better, to be more like him.  Try as I might, I could not.  All I wanted to do was join the in crowd, drink the most, cuss the most, smoke the most and to be the meanest.  Always picking on the underdog, kicking him while he was down, never giving him a chance to recover, or helping him to his feet.  Even after doing all that, he never condemned me, but chided me and made me feel bad for the way that I acted.
     Many times, after a long night of drinking, finally passing out in some desolate, God forsaken place, he would look after me.  Not letting any harm come to me during my drunken stupor.  After coming to and feeling like shit on a stick, I could hear him, off to the side, gently berating me for the way that I carried on. I tried to ignore him, but he was always there, always talking.  Lord help me, don't you ever shut up?  No, he replied, it is my job and duty to never leave you alone.  For years, I tried to put him out of my mind, but he was always there, needling me every chance that he got.  Do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that.  If you do this you will surely die.
     As I grew older, his voice and presence became stronger and closer.  I began to listen to him, and came to feel that he was a friend, and not the enemy.  Eventually we made peace.  I was glad that he was there, always around, giving me advice and insight to problems that arose.  You know, I found out and accepted the fact that he was superior and it did not bother me anymore.  Actually that knowledge was comforting to me, knowing that after all these years my best interest was his primary concern.
     As I near the end of my life, he and I are inseparable.  Every trial and torment, we go through together.  Isn't that the way that it should be?  I know that I don't have long for this world and I begin to worry about what will happen to him after I am dead.  What happens to you, I ask, if I am burned, smashed to bits or drown in the ocean?  If my body cannot be found.  Will that happen to you as well?  No, he replied, even though we have been inseparable all these years, we are completely different.  You are made from the dust of the earth and to the dust of the earth, you will return.  I on the other hand came from the breath of God, and at your death, that is where I will return.  At the appropriate time, when the trumpet sounds and our Father tells His Son, "Son, go and get your bride."   Regardless of where you are or what shape your body is in, even if it is cremated, you will rise to be with the Lord forever.  There, we will be joined together again for eternity.  You will have a glorified body, with no aches or pains or infirmities. As I slip from life, I am comforted by the knowledge that however long I am separated by death from God, Jesus, and my soul that one day we will be reunited.  Thank you Father for the breath of life.  In my youth he was a burden, in my midlife he began to carry me, and at the end he carried in his arms.  When I turned loose at the end, he just floated up toward the heavens and out of sight.