Stoopid Frog

     Late every afternoon, Sheila and I will take our dogs and ride our old syle bikes around the place.  I took the 8-n Ford tractor and box blade and made trails through the woods.  There is a lot of leaves and small sticks that will make it difficult to ride, but when I clean out a trail, it is a pleasure to ride through the woods.  I built a bridge over the ditch and we like to stop there and rest.  From there we go to the bottom pond at the back of the property and then come back over the pipe, behind the barn, around Starkota Pond and then over next to the neighbors.  It takes us about ten minutes to make a lap.  It is good exercise for us and the dogs.
     Before we started riding bikes, the dogs would run circles around us, go out in the woods to chase squirrels and chipmunks.  Now it is all they can do to stay up with us.  By the end of the first lap, they are just barely keeping up.  Two weeks ago, by the time we got back to Starkota Pond, they were tired and anxious to go for a swim. At that moment, Sheila saw a moccasin at the water's edge.  We stopped the dogs and looked around in the pond.  I could see four snakes with their bodies floating just under the water and their heads cocked like revolver hammers, above the surface of the water.  I walked to the house, shut up the dogs, grabbed my rifle and rat shot, and headed back.  I got rid of two, but missed the others.
     Next afternoon, I went out with the gun again and killed one, but the other escaped, heading for the drain pipe.  That pipe is ten feet long, so I grabbed a long slender pecan limb and held it on the ground above the pipe to make sure it would go all the way through.  At the back of the dam, the pipe comes out at about waist high.  I was very careful about where I stepped, looking at the ground with tunnel vision, making sure that when I put my foot down, it was nowhere near a snake.  I leaned over to look into the pipe, inserted the limb, and pushed back and forth, twisting it all around.  After a couple of minutes of this, I stopped and looked into the pipe again.  Not seeing anything, I told Sheila to watch the end of the pipe next to the water.  Reluctantly, she agreed.
    Here I go banging on the pipe again.  the snake, coiled up in the grass, next to the pipe, two feet from my head, said "If this man is going to kill me, I am going to have to go into the pipe."  Lucky for me he went into the pipe.  As soon as he moved, my body was stretched out forty feet, but my feet were still anchored to the ground.  After I left a pile, my feet came back to life, I hauled butt to catch up with my head.  After I gathered my stuff back togather, I started around the edge of  the pond looking for Mr. Snake.  My nerves on edge, I heard a loud plop.  I knew what it was as soon as I heard it, but my reflexes said "snake".  I felt like a fool for my reaction but it was too late. It was a bull frog with a twisted sense of humor, cause I could hear him laughing underwater, at my jumping when he jumped in.  Sheila had planted some azaleas  on the bank under the pecan tree, and we had a 5 gallon bucket there that we used to water them with.  I decided to turn it upside down and  let the jelly drain from my legs as I sat down. to wait for the snake to surface.
     Sitting there for a few minutes, I felt something staring at me.  I turned to the left and looked down. There at the edge of the water, was the biggest snake head I had ever seen.  No wait, that is a bull frog with a head the size of a Pillsbury bisquit, just staring at me.  So thankful that he did not bellow at that moment.  We looked at each other for a few moments, before he disappeared under the water.  I figured it was about time to call it quits for the day.  The moccasin made it through the night, but I got him the next morning.  I still hear the bullfrog croaking every night.