The End of Hell part 6

     Now that the darkness of hell has been turned to the light of day, I can see and understand.  I built that personal hell.  The darkness was my trying to do everything on my own, and I shut the light of God out.  I really needed help with all my problems, but no, I can do it all by myself.  I can fix this, was my attitude.
     God was an important part of my life, but more for the afterlife.  I did not want to include Him.  I would pray for his help, but did not have the faith required to bring the prayers to fruition.  The chains were there to protect me.  The frigid cleansing floods did not know me from a piece of crap.  The chains kept me connected to the rock of my salvation, and I was not swept away with the rest of the crap in my life.  There was a lot of things happening that kept me in the pit of darkness.  After several decades, my business was on the brink of collapse.  I could have weathered that.  My children turned their backs on us.  That was exceptionally hard and the more that I tried to fix it, the worse it became.  My father died in the middle of all this.  My wife and I had to deal with this alone.  My niece Sandie, was a big help during this time.  But with all this crap, I was never able to grieve as I should.
     That old demon, suicide, had pushed me to the edge several times, but the chains connecting me to the rock of my salvation were just short enough to keep me from jumping over the precipice.  I used to wonder how someone could take their own life.  Now that I have been to the edge and back and seen the misery and heartache, I have a better understanding and sympathy.  When I turned and knocked him out, it was the Strength of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ that flattened him.  At that point I was ready for some help and that was the key.  He works when we give up. 
     The vision of seeing my grandchildren was real.  It came about during the Christmas break.  We were able to spend some time with them.  The youngest one spent the day and night and next day with us.  What a glorious time to be alive.  God does not work on His own time as I believed.  This thing called "free will" is just that.  Four years was really a short time to bring four different people together.  Some times a life time is not long enough.  Thank God, that in this case it did not take that long.  Again, I say, What a glorious time to be alive.