Drunks

As the smoke cleared, I reached over and picked up my severed leg off the blood soaked sand. What the hell was I thinking. For years I had tried to quit drinking, albeit not wholeheartedly. This night started out like many others before. A few quick drinks during the day, coming faster near dusk, and downright racing after dark. As with most drunks, I liked to associate with other drunks. When we all got together, there was no end to trouble.




Bill had a place in the country away from neighbors and judgemental onlookers. We all chipped in and bought a hog from a local farmer. Most of us grew up on a farm during a time when you butchered your own meat, so we were well versed in preparing a hog for roasting. We hung the hog up by his hind feet and stuck him in the neck. He squealed and thrashed as the blood poured from his arteries, and covered everything within a ten foot radius.



We had dug a pit and filled it with wood that we sat on fire. When the wood turned to hot coals, we covered them with a layer of dirt. Wrapping the hog in burlap and green leaves we put him over the coals and covered him with dirt. He was to cook this way for several hours. Having done this several times, we knew that we were in for a treat. However we all drank more than usual this night. Also there were some young drunks there that were new to our group. Unbeknownst to us they had planted some cherry bombs and M-80's under the dirt. The more we drank the hotter the fireworks became.



All of a sudden, one of them exploded, then another. It sounded as if a young war was taking place. We all scattered in the dark, scared shitless, not knowing where we were going. All of a sudden I hit a slick spot in the sand and went head over heels. When I landed and got my senses back, the smoke was clearing. I looked around and knew that I was stuck in the blood soaked sand where we had butchered the hog. The excitement had been too much for the straps holding my leg on and they snapped, allowing my artificial leg to be covered in hog's blood. I am going to have to quit drinking or get a stronger leg.