Just Five More Minutes

     Out of the cold black void of nothing, I suddenly appear.  It is a struggle to keep the piss off my legs.  Standing over the toilet, it is difficult to get a good stream.  It comes out like a golden shower, going everywhere.  My pants legs are soaked.  I am standing ankle deep in human waste, trying to stay balanced on my toes.  At this stage in my life, balance is not what it used to be.  I just give up and stand flat footed.  This has to be the nastiest place in God's creation.  How did I arrive here?  There are no roads in or out.  The coach walks by and says, "Hurry, or lock up when you leave."  Not wanting to be here by myself, I answer,  "I am leaving now."  and painfully cut off the golden shower.
     As I walked out the door, I come upon a large crowd on a hill.  The smell of the toilet was replaced by fresh air and fried fish and baked bread.  Everyone was looking at the man holding up the fish and bread to God, asking for his blessing.  As they passed out the food, we were told to take as much as we could eat and more if we wanted.  When the crowd leaves, I wander aimlessly up the freshly plowed, sandy field.  Every few steps I notice small trees in the sandy soil.  They have short stocky limbs with sharp leaves.  The whole tree is covered with spider webs.  There are theses trees in every direction as far as I can see.  They all have the same characteristics; short stocky limbs, sharp leaves, covered in spider webs with half eaten bugs.
     "Charles" I heard Sheila softly calling my name.  I looked around for her, but could not find her anywhere.  "Yeah baby, where are you?" I ask.  I did not yell for I knew she was close by.
     "Right here by the spider eating the frog's stomach.  As I heard her answer, she slowly appeared in the tree, covered by spider webs.  I reached up, grabbed her hand and helped her down.  We walked slowly uphill, holding hands neither of seemed scared or upset by what had just happened.  There was no effort or fatigue, even though we had been walking uphill for a long time.  We turned to look back at where we had been and we were surprised to learn that it was uphill.  If we turned to the left it was uphill.  If we turned to the right, it was uphill.  If we turned to the front, it was uphill.  We are not discouraged, we have eternity to reach the top.  We can't see the top, but we have faith it is there.  When we stop to rest, we are in a flat level space.  As soon as we start walking again, it is uphill.  The scenery does not change.  It is twi light, but we can see clearly.
     The dark purplish light changes ever so slightly.  It becomes a warm golden glow at the top.  Suddenly it becomes so bright that I open my eyes.  At that moment the alarm goes off.  I am way to tired to go to work, so I hit the snooze button.  I lay there ant ponder what just happened.  I always thought that when you dreamed you were peeing, that you actually were.  I am glad that in this case that it wasn't true.  That would surely piss Sheila off.