WARNING!!!! DO NOT READ BEFORE MEALS

Some things will not be forgotten, even by trying, and since the world is round, everything happens over and over again. Different day same stuff. Back in the day, grandpa would go around the community, during the growing season and get kids to help hoe the peanuts. It started at daylight, before the dew dried up, You would walk through the grass at the end of the row and your pants legs would be soaking wet. Believe it or not at that time of the morning it was cold on my skinny legs. Come about 10 o'clock, I wished for that coolness. One of the perks of working for grandpa, was that grannie would feed you lunch. And oh what a meal. The best cook in the state of Alabama, she would have fried chicken, all you could eat, turnips, purple hull peas, butter beans, mac and cheese, and corn bread good enough to kill for. Dr. Danny Nowell still talks about her tea cakes.


Any way, there was 5 or 6 kids, grandpa, grannie, and me, fixing our plates before we sat down and blessed the meal. Noise so thick you could not think, and then it happened. I don't know why I was looking at the kid, but just as I glanced over, his nose discharged. Green and shiny, he tried to pull it out, but it stretched out as long as his arm, so he doubled up and grabbed it again, One of his buddies took a pocket knife and cut it loose. I don't know what happened after that, I was having a discharge of my own.

Several decades went by and Sheila and I were trying to figure out a vacation destination. Glenn Jones and Joe Walden came into the shop to order some signs for the nuclear plant. During the conversation, Glenn(a regular customer) and Sheila began to talk about places to go. Glenn and Joe, both at the same time said "Cedar Key". I had never heard of it, but they assured us that it was the destination spot of the century. I don't know why they were so mad with us. We never make reservations, we just go and have always found a good place to spend the week.

We should have known at the Hardees in Tallahassee to turn around and go back home. Standing in line to order a breakfast biscuit, I noticed that the guy in front of us was a free spirit. A long, dirty, gray, and stringy ponytail was his best feature. He had on a dirty t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops, and the flops were the icing on the cake. His feet had not been washed in a while, and the lamisel monster had established a major city under his toe nails. They were about an inch long, curling up at the ends, wrinkled, and yellow. They looked like shelled pecans that he had glued to his toes. I was elbowing sheila to get her attention, It was like a train wreck and you wanted someone else to see it with you. She was oblivious to me, her attention was elsewhere, and when I found out where It was not a pretty sight.
Standing beside the lamisel man was his significant other. Some where in America, somebody will give you soap and shampoo. The first thing I noticed about her was her greying hair. No wait, that was not hair that was grey. Her shoulders were covered with a fresh frosting of snow, but not the wet kind, and it was coming from her head. We toughed all that out because we were hungry, and we tried to ignore it. I have a weak stomach in the best of times, but I did want a sausage biscuit, and now without the white gravy. Ok, we made it to the counter, and the black girl asked for our order. When I looked up, I could see that she had already sampled the gravy biscuit, because the gravy was stuck in each corner of her mouth. No, I replied, I left my wallet in the car.
We did stop and eat somewhere further down the road. Cedar Key is a long way off the interstate, and it was almost dark by the time we got there and found a place to stay. We went out that night and had a good seafood dinner and a few drinks. Next morning we got up and walked through the town. Did not take long, it is smaller than Headland. I thought Cowarts was full of rednecks, but they look downright sophisticated compared to these folks. We found a small cafe that was still serving breakfast, so we strolled in and grabbed a seat. I think Sheila is smarter than I am, because she took the seat facing away from the kitchen, Word of advice; do not sit where you can see the cook. We had finished our coffee and orange juice, and lo and behold, I thought I was back at grandpa's kitchen table. About the time I looked at the cook, she was pulling a wet green string out of her nose. It went to the end of her arm and she had to double up on it and pull again. It finally broke free and popped her fingers with a snap. Well, what do you know, it's time for me to go. We wound up at Indian River and had a good time for the rest of the trip. Moral of the story: Do not sit where you can see the cook.