It's Not the Bachhoe, Dummy

     We all know what happened last Wednesday.  The worst hurricane I have ever been in.  We watched almost to the end with no problems.  However when the calm passed and the eye came over us again, Holy moly.  Tree after tree went down, the wind was howling and we lost a small piece of  eave metal.  That was all the structural damage to the house, barn, shed and shop.  Not so with the yard and woods.  Hundreds of trees came down and made an alien landscape.  God is good and  helped us with cleaning up the backyard.  It took us three days to get it under control.  After cutting the trees into manageable sections, I grabbed the backhoe.
     I had not used it in a while and always use it carefully so as not to tear it up.  It is expensive to fix and I am not a mechanic.  I climbed on and became one with the hoe.  I was the brains and the hoe was the muscle.   Backing up I planted my feet, the outriggers, reaching out with my arm, the hoe, We grabbed a pile of debris, pulled it in and hauled it to the back.  Coming back I would scoop up debris with my hands, the front bucket.  We were one well tuned machine.  We removed tree stumps bigger than the backhoe.  A couple were to big, but I figured a way to roll and drag.  Don't worry about the backhoe just load it up.  We did things that should not be done with a backhoe.  We were down to one last small log.  Something I could have thrown over my shoulder and walked off with, years ago.  but not now.  Pulling up close, I switched the  machine off.  I chained the log to the bucket and climbed back up.  I turned the key switch and then pressed the silver ignition switch under the steering wheel.  My worst fears were confirmed, it would not turn over.  It did nothing.
     Fearing the batteries were dead, I cleaned the cable ends and hooked my old truck up and let it charge for almost an hour.  Still nothing.  Called Auto Zone and found they did not close until 10, I removed the batteries and rushed off to Auto Zone.  The batteries were at 90% capacity.  Now what do I do.  My son in law is a proficient mechanic.  I called him for advice.  He was cleaning up his own mess and I told him not to come over, we could fix it over the phone.  Telling me a couple of things to do, I did.  Nothing worked.  I w-d 40ed the screws on the dashboard to remove the key switch.  And there it was.  Had not moved in 31 years, still in the same place, next to the key switch.  The RED START  BUTTON.  I touched it and the machine roared to life.  The silver button under the steering wheel was the horn button and had never worked.  I still had one tree to cut in the back yard and removed it and the stump ball.  Worked until dark and can still hear the backhoe calling me a dumbass.