TO SHARE OR NOT TO SHARE

     Surprisingly the rehearsal went pretty well, but it had dragged on and on.  By the time it was over I had an urgent need to go to the john. Need is not really the right word, pain would be better suited.  Some of the other players were in the same predicament as well, for there were long lines at the toilets.  Well what would be wrong with pulling the curtain around me and just relieving myself on stage.  That was a good idea until I actually started pulling the curtain.  It had stood the test of time for dozens of years, but that was the moment it decided to come off the rollers.  Too many people around so I had to do something else.  By this time the pain was intense and burning.
     I remembered that the courthouse was just around the corner and they had public toilets.  Running as fast as I could under the circumstances, I made my way up the street.  There was an unusual amount of people milling around downtown and moving was difficult.  The more I tried to go forward, the more intense the pain became.  Just as I reached the courthouse and relief was in sight, there were two school busses parking at the front entrance.  Male students were piling out and running for the toilets.  If I did not hurry, I would never make it.
     As I went up the steps, I could feel some one grabbing onto my shirt and holding me back.  When I looked around, one of the bus drivers was locked onto my arm.  Hurting as bad as I was, I tried to shake him off.  As we went into the toilet, he was still holding on.  All the stalls  were occupied except the one on the end.  If I could just get to that one he would turn me loose.  That didn't happen.  He was still holding on, tighter now than ever.  At my wits end now, I told him "I was here first, but I will share." 
"Hell no" he replied as he shoved me away.  My temper then took over and I grabbed him by throat.  I squeezed him with all my might and realized I could not unzip with my left hand.  His face turned blue and his eyes bulged out.  Just as he passed out, I turned loose and unzipped.  By then I was hurting so bad, I couldn't go.  That woke me up and as I hurried to the bathroom, I was glad the bed was not wet.