Cheap Sunglasses

     I felt fine when I walked into Jeffers Vet Supply.  We stood around for awhile waiting for our order.  Everything was still good as we checked out.  I put my sunglasses on as we were walking out.  The exit was on the right, but for the life of me I could not go out the right door.  I exited the building on the left.  As we walked toward the car I kept lisping to the left.  I did not feel well.  I opened the door for Sheila and just did not feel well.  I took off my sunglasses and realized that the left nose guard was missing.  I decided that I would just wear them, since the sun was glaring.
     As we drove out the parking lot, I had to struggle to keep the car from pulling into the left lane.  That was strange, for that had never happened before.  At the road, instead of turning to the right as I should have, I turned to the left.  Sheila went off on me like a Mexican Muslim.  I pulled off to the left side of the road, and said "I don't feel well!, you drive."  "Thank you." she replied.  We continued on to the mall and the car drove as it always had.  No trouble with the steering.  As we walked in, I held her elbow, not for chivalry's sake, but to keep me walking in a straight line.  Inside, I informed her that I would just sit this one out.  "Do you need to go to the doctor?'  she asked.  Nah, I'll be ok.  My right side was numb, but the left side was excited.
     When we go home Sheila fixed me a nice meal.  That made me feel better, but I could not use my right hand to eat.  I had to struggle with my left hand to put food in my mouth.  The right side of my mouth would not open, but the left side was wide open, working fine.  After supper we usually watch Fox news and by the time Hannity came on I was red faced and pissed off, so I turned it to MSNBC and a strange calm came over me.  As they talked about Hillary, I just fell in love with her.  Ain't that some shilly sit?  What the hell is wrong with me?
     I felt better the next morning and on the way to work, I stopped and bought a new pair of sunglasses.  As soon as I put them on I returned to my old self again.  then it hit me.  With all these left wing democrats loving Hillary, their heads are not on straight.  What they need is for us right wingers to buy them all a new pair of cheap sunglasses, shave the right nose guard down just a little and mail them to all the left leaning liberals.  That will get their heads screwed on straight.